The Keeper of the Crypt

As the big players on the world stage prepare to enter our world for two hours, last minute preparations are maddeningly unfolding behind the scenes to ensure flawless execution of plans that have been exhaustively designed and polished to a pristine excellence.

While the main stage is a sea of peace and serenity, everything in meticulous order, and the lull of enticing music mesmerizing the crowds, a thunderstorm of giant proportions is brewing in the wings. Someone dashes in with a ripped jacket hem distressed beyond means this has happened at such an important moment. Two staples later and a covering of black Sharpie ensure the future of the world doesn't hang in the balance due to a fashion disaster.

As the printer awakes growling and beeping incessantly to be fed a breakfast of A3 and A4 paper, the server refuses to open its eyes to the new day. Maybe the overload of new knowledge objects dropped in its lap last night has taken its toll.

Two people enter stressing over the absence of an important dignitary, while another enters asking for antacid tablets. A forth enters searching for a pen and a place to sit. The carefully placed stacks of information prepared for the session have suddenly become smothered in coffee cups, folders, cell phones, and laptops.

A last minute review uncovers a catastrophic flaw in the writing and everything has to be scrapped. The tension in the air crackles like thunderbolts. Seeing the potential for a deluge, the keeper of the crypt takes a deep breath and smiles. As the new assignments find their way off the now sated printer, a calm begins to emerge and day breaks once again.

It's 7am and the world's secrets have started to unfold not on the main stage, but between the walls of the backstage crypt. Its eyes and ears are witness to the true workings of peace, and I am the keeper of the crypt.

It's the Little Things

January 2nd...hard to believe we are into the New Year already. Even harder to believe that I have to pack all the Christmas stuff up for another year...seems like I just finished getting it all done!

Last night I was running around in a pink burkha in a field that had been converted into a Jewish synagogue. I was sitting on a pew looking at an old address book and the guy in front of me was turned around and trying to read what I had written in it. The addresses were all written in cursive, in pencil, and none of the writing was straight. Then I woke up. Yep, another night and yet another weird dream.

I had to make the trek to my local grocery store today because I needed a few items which ended up being five paper bags of stuff and totaling over $200. I sure am glad I didn't need a lot of things! I love to cook but I really don't like to grocery shop at all. The only saving grace for me are the antics of an elderly gentleman who bags groceries at my grocery store of choice. 

For Thanksgiving he wore a turkey hat. By turkey hat, I don't mean a baseball cap with a turkey emblem on the front, I mean he had a felt stuffed turkey on his head. I didn't think it could get any better until I did my Christmas shopping and was greeted by a 15 inch felt Christmas tree complete with a working set of lights perched atop his head.

Today was dreary and wet and going to the store was not something I was really looking forward to doing. However, the entire experience was worth it when I was greeted by this gentleman who was wearing a pair of suspenders that were 2 inches wide, bright yellow, and were made to look like a tape measure. Not only that, his hat completely summed up how I felt about the whole shopping experience...it simply said, "Whatever". Due in part to the simple act of getting dressed that this gentleman performs every day, he may single handedly change my mind about enjoying grocery shopping. 

It's the little things that count.

Robin Sue

The Cleaning Continues, Kind of...

I was running around the barn looking for an orange popsicle for Nanny while she was out in the field on the tractor talking to the neighbor...or at least that is what I was doing before I woke up this morning. I am always busy in my dreams; it apparently carries over into my conscious state as well. 

I had grand intentions of clearing out the spare bedroom which is the current holding place for all the leftover Christmas wrap, bows, boxes, and who knows what else. Since it is across the hall from Robert's room, it is also his drop spot for anything he doesn't want in his room but doesn't necessarily want to toss. The guest room has turned into a holding pen. You would think this would defeat the purpose of it being a guest room, but apparently we have fearless friends as they all have emerged alive and unscathed to date.

Good intentions are just that intentions, they don't necessarily become reality. After spending the morning sorting and paying bills and checking on a much needed furniture delivery tomorrow, Robert decided to put together his DVD stand in the living room since the guest room wasn't an option. Consider the fact that I have a penchant for very large furniture; therefore, there is not a lot of free floor space in the living room. We spent an amusing hour climbing over furniture while watching Home Improvement (Tim the Toolman Taylor - how ironic), constructing, and cooking tacos for lunch. 

By this time Mama checked in and gave an update on the new handheld phone situation - all was well until I asked if Pop wanted a spare bookcase and she proceeded to holler through the house to ask him, then put the phone down to go find him...??? When she returned out of breath I asked why she hadn't called on the portable phone and she replied, "oh, we don't want to run the batteries down on them." I love my parents! 

Needless to say, the guest room never did get cleared out today - I'll think about that tomorrow. I did manage to make two batches of peanut butter cups while watching American Gangster tonight. No orange popsicles but I am rather curious of what the combination of peanut butter, chocolate, murder, and drugs will do to influence my dreams tonight.

Until tomorrow,

Robin Sue

Skin Creme, House Purging, and Electronics...All in One Day

I awoke at 4:30 am for no apparent reason other than my body decided it didn't want to be comatose anymore. Not particularly wanting to get up quite yet, I grabbed the copy of Vanity Fair that was still in the bed next to me (along side my cell phone, a book, and yesterday's newspaper) and decided to read a few pages. 

Being one of those folks that has really sensitive skin, I was enticed by the ad with the free sample of Comfort on Call - allergy tested relief cream by Clinique to "lift here" and apply the sample to the inside of my right arm. I used this as my litmus test as to how the rest of the day was going to unfold. Option 1 - had the inside of my arm turned bright red, started to itch uncontrollably, and caused me to frantically jump from bed in order to violently scrub the offending product off my arm, this would mean I might want to consider staying in my room with the door locked all day. Option 2 - the cream would feel nice and silky on my arm and not render it useless for the rest of the day. I am happy to report that as of 6:30 am I was arising to Option 2 - it was going to be a good day.

We are in the midst of purging the apartment of all unwanted and unnecessary "stuff" which has been put off for one reason or another since Robert and I moved in almost two years ago. Today was kitchen day, which might sound like a small undertaking considering it is an apartment, but you have no idea exactly how much kitchen stuff we have. Let's start with dishes - my china set alone has 36 tea cups and matching saucers, 45 dinner plates, 4 sugar bowls, 6 creamers, 3 gravy boats, and an assortment of salad plates, dessert plates, serving bowls and platters, and things that I am not even sure what you do with much less what you would serve on them. That's one cabinet. 

I worked for Nabisco for several years so there is the cabinet that houses the collector tins, soup tureen (and matching bowls, ladle, salt & pepper shakers, and spoon rest) and various other promotional items. The next cabinet houses the crystal glassware, stemware, mugs, margarita glasses... (I was a Princess House crystal home sales rep for a bit). Then there is the cabinet that has the flower vases, random coffee mugs (you know the ones folks give you as gag gifts that have two handles and say "hangover mug"), beer mugs collected from various establishments, water bottles (including the one with the squirrel fur cover and id pouch which I highly recommend everyone have), and jelly glasses.

I won't get into the contents of all the cabinets, but I think you get the idea. This doesn't even begin to detail the appliances, baking pans/tins, cookie cutters, etc. Several hours and four bags of Goodwill finery later, the kitchen had been conquered - well, I still have the cookbooks to weed through but that's for another day. 

After lunch I ventured over to my parent's house to install all the new electronic gadgets they received for Christmas. My Mama was in a frenzy when I arrived. They had asked for and received a large digital clock which could be easily read across the room at night. Apparently the clock was so bright "they might as well have been sleeping with all the lights on in the house." Plus, there was something drastically wrong with it because it said 12:00 over top of the actual time, and try as they may, they could not get the 12:00 to disappear. It was just a disaster and she wished they had never asked for it. 

Upon closer inspection the 12:00 situation was rectified by peeling off the plastic scratch guard protector on the display as I laughed hysterically - probably not the best response at the time. However, I am happy to report that the clock has moved up on the gift scale as being a "keeper" now. 

This was followed by setting up the new answering machine (yes, answering machine), four portable phones, and a conducting a quick lesson in how to use. The final installation was the converter box for the television. My parents don't have cable, don't want cable, don't want to talk about cable, the end. Whomever thought that older folks like my parents were going to be able to "plug and play" the new converter boxes in a matter of minutes should be shot. Not only does it require a special set of rabbit ears (aka antenna for those of you unfamilar with pre-cable tv) but depending on the model tv, you need an extra cable which is not included...they weren't impressed and I have a shopping mission on the list for tomorrow.

I am now beginning to notice a slight redness on my arm where I applied the "allergy tested relief cream" and have concluded that the delayed results of the litmus test have declared today as actually an Option 1 day...

Tally Ho,

Robin Sue